What Good Am I For?
I've been here before. Echoes in the back of my mind, a ringing in my ear, the smell of char, smoke burning at my eyes... I can taste the ash when I swallow... Can feel the tremors under my feet...
Upon the back of my neck, the hairs rise. My skin crawls, and my heart pounds. Louder than the ringing, louder than the screams I am hearing. I know this place...
I see it when I close my eyes. It is seared there, on the flesh that covers them. I wear its memory so close to my heart, deeper than any scar.
I know its Name...
I am not a Healer. I cannot tend to the sick, the wounded, the needy...
I am not a Builder. I cannot mend what is broken nor give shelter...
I am not a Protector. I cannot fight battles and defend those I love...
I am not a Leader. I cannot take others' faith and guide it down a path...
I am a Namer. I take what I feel, what I see, what I hear... And I give it a Name...
I am an Artist. I only have my words.
I was taught to always have a back-up plan. To have another self in my back pocket because being an Artist does not provide. It does not feed the hungry nor shelter the homeless. It does not protect the weak, the wounded, the needy...
But I could never take a Name that wasn't mine.
So I find myself here once more. In this land that I gave one simple, devastating name.
Despair.
I am not a Healer. I cannot provide remedy.
I am not a Builder. I cannot provide shelter.
I am not a Protector. I cannot provide safety.
I am not a Leader. I cannot provide solution.
I'm just an Artist. I only have my Art.
So what Good am I even for?
...
I am not a Healer, but I can heal. I can provide words that mend a soul, broken and shattered under the weight of Despair.
I am not a Builder, but I can build. I can provide words that reach across oceans drowning in its throes.
I am not a Protector, but I can protect. I can provide words that shut down and rebuke its name.
...
I am not a Leader... But I can provide words that lead others to safety and security and to each other.
Not everything needs a Name. Some things we simply have to do.